The couple who live opposite our unit has a 10-year old son who is mentally challenged. Physically and facial wise, he looks pretty normal, albeit he is really huge for his age. He is fat and tall and looks like a teenage boy. Mentally, I think he is slow or challenged. He used to attend a private school but his mother has now switched him to home-schooling, conducted privately. Each time we bump into this boy (who is always with an Indon maid), the boy will strike a child-like conversation with me or with my girls. Many times, he ran straight into our unit and said that he wanted to play with mei mei (little sisters) repeatedly and refused to come out of our house. Honestly, my girls and I are quite terrified of him because of his size and knowing that he is mentally challenged, he may even hurt us if he is provoked verbally or physically (IF). His parents are very well to do and they have a driver to chauffeur them around but they would leave the boy at home alone with the Indon maid. Many times, the door of their unit will be left opened and the boy is free to go in and out of the unit, sometimes without the maid accompanying him. Each time I see their door opened, my heart would skip a beat, fearing that the boy would ‘pounce’ on us again.
Two nights ago, while I brought the trash to the refuse room outside our unit, I bumped into my neighbor and we started to chit chat. Suddenly, her son ran out of the house like a mad boy and put his hand round my shoulder! Then, with another hand, he wanted to grope my boops but I moved back to avoid his hand! I wanted to run away but tried hard not to blow the situation out of proportion and make my neighbor uneasy. I did not want to hurt my neighbor’s feelings or the boy’s by over-reacting. I am quite a drama queen alright. The boy’s mother reprimanded B (the boy). Seconds later, he moved his hand towards my down under as if to grope it and I retreated more. Alycia who was with me quickly walked away and hid behind me. O_o, the situation was kind of tensed and both B’s mother and I felt really uneasy and we had to end the conversation. Gawd, that was scary! Though he did not manage to touch my private parts, he did put his hand round my shoulder.  I told the hubs about it the next morning and he was shocked to hear the story and to add salt to injury he scared me by saying that the boy is now ‘preying’ on me, waiting to attack / r*pe me! ** rolls eyes** He told me not to bring the trash out to the refuse room anymore and just leave the rubbish outside our unit for him to throw…. when he comes home. Sometimes, I do not lock our front door during the day as the security at our condo is very tight with 24-hour guard patrolling and CCTV but now, I better keep the door locked at all times just in case I wake up to find a naked boy next to me!! Knock on wood!!
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*faint* I would have shouted until the whole condo could hear me ! haha….
really scary…..
I think you should keep your doors locked. I used to stay in a condo too but even condos with tight securities sometimes have break-ins etc done by residents who moved in 2-3 months ago as a ploy to stay in the midst and observe and rob the other residents.
Fuiyoh… So scary. Ya good idea to keep your doors locked at all times. Also for security of your girls. You don’t want him peeping in or something also. Do ou have your neighbor’s hp or house number?
This is going to be a rather longwinded comment, so please, it is ok not to publish it. I just had to say something to help you deal with this poor kid next door, and as well teach your girls how to handle such situations. None of us would want a disabled child, and Iam constantly thankful my kids are normal (more or less…). Honest, the poor kid is not trying to hurt you or has any amorous ideas, he might just have trouble expressing himself. Sounds like he is left alone with the Indon maid a lot and I am pretty sure she does not have a special education background. So, “B” is now denied any social interaction with the outside world now that his Mum has taken him out of school. As a stay-at-home mum, u can easily figure out how isolating and lonely it is. I totally agree that groping you is not to be encouraged, and he has to learn socially accepted behaviour, and it should be from his parents. I don’t care if they have $$, they still have to be parents, and parenting is a big time job! They cannot pay for soemeone else to do it. In my eyes, they will be less than human! In the interim, have a frank chat with the parents (is father not involved? He is too busy making $$??). Ask what YOU can do to help out. Say you are at a loss what is the best approach. Say you want to do what is best for B to help him behave appropriately. And if he would like to play with the girls, make it @ a neutral place ie downstairs in the garden area, by the pool etc. As well, alert the mum that sometimes the maid is not with him and he can unwittingly get himself into trouble. He could wander into the elevator himself and get lost in just a few minutes. Now, if you do not wish to follow this through, and would just like to continue to marginalise B, it is your right. I just want to relate a few of my own experiences. My good friend’s son is autistic (still is, there is no cure), did not speak till age 5, potty trained at 7. When he came to visit, he would cry nonstop for an hour, then settle a bit and play, mostly on his own. As a family, we treated him as normal as we could, but always aware what can upset him eg food textures, loud noises etc. His father fought very hard with the school system for added support, sued them actually, and won! With the settlement, the parents put him in Montessori where he did high school. That private school was willing to provide extra support. In Sept, this young man will be going to University!! My own nephew is autistic. He did not do well in regular school, so did trade school. Communication and social skills are still a challenge but he is very talented in sewing. Mind you, not regular clothes, but costumes for anime or comic characters. He has such an eye for detail. He actually sews these costumes and has a little business going. Recently, I had the opportunity to work with a severely autistic child, age 21. His mum looks after him at home, though he does go to a community centre for programs etc. I had to sit in the room with the mum for half an hour, and in the end he would have nothing to do with me. Wouldn’t even look at me. He would hit myself, or his mum, and that made me feel bad. I was the stressor. His mum said if she bought him new clothes, she had to leave them in the room for a week or 2 so he would get used to them, and be able to wear them.
Every child is different and respond differently to their environment. We all have to respect that. Lest we forget, we are all God’s creatures.
sound pretty scary … it’s better to lock your gate.
Hahaha .. your hubs is so jahat le, scare you somemore !!
If there’s one good thing that came out of this is that at least now you are being more careful, locking the door and all. I admire you for being very patient and understanding about what happened knowing the boy’s mentally challenged.
Hi – I can understand how frightened you are but do remember that this is a 10 year old boy who:
– cannot attend school
– cannot learn at the same pace as other and
– is now stuck at home with an Indonesian maid.
He may have acted like a predator but he is still a child in a growing boy’s body.
I cannot imagine how he spends the time with the Indonesian maid. He could be spending a lot of time watching TV…
I agree with what Chris has so kindly shared. I am sad to hear that he has now stopped attending the private school. As you’re close to the neighbour, perhaps you could ask the reason why?
From the mother’s reaction, it looks like she is trying to guide her son. You did well but not over-reacting but you can also reinforce the mother’s message that “It’s not OK to touch girls here or here!”
He’s a child who is still learning, right? He needs to be taught right from wrong and the more the people around him helps him do that, the better he will be.
I grew up with a mentally challenged boy who would gush, “You’re so beautiful, you’re so beautiful…” every time he sees me.
However, his mother and the men around him would tell him, “Focus on your work” or “Eat your food”. “You cannot touch her or try to hug her, ok? If you do that, I will beat you.”
The boy will mutter to himself, “Cannot touch girls or Mama will scold me. Uncle will beat me…”
Now a man, he has not hurt anyone because everyone around him (family, friends and neighbours) treats him well and rewards him for good behaviour.
Be nice to the boy and don’t be frightened of him. Treat him like you would treat one of your nephews.
In fact, if you could and if the boy’s mother agrees, you could even get him to help you with packing your stuff for sale?
Keep him busy and he’ll stay out of trouble 😀
Chris, Kit — thanks for sharing your thoughts 🙂