A good teacher brings the best out from a child, stokes up the child’s interest and knows how to capitalize on the child’s strengths and interests. But a teacher who does not have an inkling of what child psychology is and always says discouraging and intimidating words to the child will only kill a child’s interest and traumatize a child. Remember I told you that Alycia was selected by her class teacher to attend calligraphy class about 2 months back? If she is good enough, she would be selected to represent her school in calligraphy competitions in future. Lately, Alycia had been telling me that she hated calligraphy classes. She kept telling me that the Chinese words were very difficult to write. On Tuesday, as I was telling her to bring her bag which she puts her calligraphy stuff out, she vehemently told me that she didn’t want to attend calligraphy class anymore. She was almost in tears and was begging me not to let her go anymore. This girl of mine is a very sensitive child, unlike Sherilyn who is stronger and more ‘thick skin’. Throughout dinner, my mil and I probed Alycia and tried to grill the truth out from her as to why she was so afraid to go to her calligraphy class. And throughout dinner, she was crying and begging us not to let her attend calligraphy class anymore. I knew instantly that she is hiding something from me. I kept asking her if she was beaten or harshly scolded by her teacher and she said no. But I knew she was not telling me the truth. If she would cry so terribly and beg me not to send her there, something really terrifying must be happening in class.
Finally after dinner when I was alone in the wet kitchen, Alycia told me the truth when I probed her again. She told me that her teacherĀ said this to her inĀ Mandarin : “if you can’t write nicely again, you don’t have toĀ attend class anymore”! I was disappointed that her teacher had said such words to intimidate / threaten her. She had instilled so much phobia in a 6.5 year old child, so much that she was really traumatized to attend class again. After discussing with my mil, I wrote a letter to her class teacher to tell her that Alycia will not be attending calligraphy class anymore. When we meet Alycia’s teacher to collect her report card next month, we will highlight this matter to the teacher. I think it is wrong for the calligraphy teacher to say such things to a Primary 1 child. I remember my ballet teacher said similar things to me when I was 7 years old, that “if you can’t dance, don’t come anymore”. I too was scared to tell my mum and had a phobia of attending ballet classes. Finally I dropped out after 2 years of ballet classes.
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Very true. A good and patient teacher can really bring out the best of a child.
When Ian was 5 and 1st exposed to BM, he was very poor in his sukukata and got zero in his Ejaan on many occasions. His class teacher remarked in a sarcarstic way that my son was not slow compared to some of his classmates with their names mentioned to me somemore.*roll eyes*. I was so pissed and saddened by her negative remark then.
You know what, he got “Best Reader in BM” award on his kindy graduation night! Kudos to his 6 yrs’ old class teacher who never failed to encourage him to do better.
so sorry to hear about this incident. Well, the teacher uses a wrong approach… Too bad that Alycia wont be attending caligraphy class anymore….
That is absolutely terrible thing to say to a child. Poor Alycia.
I always say, good teachers are hard to find nowadays. Being a teacher means possessing many virtues and values such as patience and compassion. You said it beautifully on the impact a good teacher has on a student. When my son was failing math in the first month of this school year, I asked him about his grade and he mentioned several things about the teacher that I didn’t think was appropriate. I sent an email to the teacher and talked to him in person right away. As a parent, I know to be careful with my words because I am very aware if you piss off the teacher, that is never a good thing for your child. I could tell the teacher didn’t like what I had to say but I said it politely and reiterate why math is an important subject to learn and why his job as a teacher is important so that the students can grasp the concept and understand math. In short, my son said the teacher was more patient when teaching new concepts and as for my son, his grade went from D’s to straight A’s.
Agreed. Fully agreed, using harsh or discouraging words towards a child will definitely implant a negative effect to the child. Learning Chinese calligraphy is not an easy task, even I was at the age, I was struggling to get it right. But, Shireen, will you think that it is a waste of stopping her the calligraphy class now? Will it be better to talk to the Calligraphy teacher face to face and solve the problem? or enrol her for another outside calligraphy class? I would think that this authentic art of Chinese calligraphy should cultivate to young children to continue our tradition. Just my 2 cents! I hope Alycia will gets back her interest in Chinese calligraphy again! š
I am so ANGRY to hear that…. I am an anti “negative-feedback” person…. Hopefully there is another calligraphy class with better attitude teacher. Poor Alycia… it must have hurt her feeling hard.
That is bad. Learning calligraphy needs practise and it not easy task for a 6 – 7 years old. Since Alycia is still new to it, the teacher should give more encouragement instead of making nasty comment like that.
what a lousy teacher. teaching by threat ! you can opt out from calligraphy but what if it’s an essential subject like Maths ? There’s too many these kinda teachers around. Perhaps you may want to speak to the principal instead, not in a complain tone but ask her advise on how to handle kids who cannot handle threats and criticism.
Kids take words literally. Amber came back from school and told me she didn’t like her teacher coz teacher asked her to zip her mouth when she talked too much. She asked me how to zip when there’ no zip ? š
Sometimes the teachers do ‘forget’ how impactful their words are on little children. That’s quite common when they have to keep their class under control.
I still remember the post you wrote about how excited Alycia was with her calligraphy class and how she wanted to practise the moment she got home. What a huge swing from the situation now!
I think if possible you should try to speak to the teacher first. Maybe a few encouraging words from her teacher is all that she needs to love calligraphy again.
I will confront the teacher and give her a piece of my mind!!! If Alycia can write as well as the teacher, she can be THE teacher lor. *TOOT*
You really should voice this out to the teacher. It’s really unhealthy leh. Because of the few words she said, a poor kid has developed fear for calligraphy.
oh my! š wat a waste. why not speak to the teacher first, and let aly continue calligraphy later on? well, chinese school teachers are known to be hard on the kids. they focus on the really good, and shove the not up to standard aside, just for the sake of the school name… is that true?
u sure have the guts to tell the teacher off, becareful the teacher don’t “target” your girl.
My approach to kid’s problems in school is to NOT go on the defensive. I keep in mind that I want the best outcome for my kid i.e I do not wish to unwittingly contribute to unhealthy relationship in school that will lead to losing opportunity to pursue his/her interest.
I will first speak to the teacher. Get her version of the situation. Sometimes kids may overreact. Anyhow, no harm verifying the facts and the teacher’s intentions.
aiyo how can the teacher say such a thing. That’s very discouraging. The other day Faythe also told me she didn’t want to go school, after probing few rounds realised that cause teacher didn’t allow her to do the mother’s day card in the way she want to. I feel that some teachers do not encourage our kids to be creative. Wanted to speak to her next day but she came late..and she’s always complaining Faythe has horrible writing. Aiyo, 5yo only leh…what you expect?
Way to go!! And always encourage the girls to talk to u abt anything..assure them that they are safe. A teacher’s job is to teach, NOT to demean a child! If they want to do that, teaching is definitely not for them.
I’d even go further with the complaint..I’d cc a copy to the principal or school friend..someone who is higher up.
u shld get clarification from teacher now as she might forgot wat she said to aly
Chinese schools are well known to have “know-it-all” teachers. They do not like to be questioned. They think they’re right no matter what.
It’s a conscious choice on your part. If you insist on giving her a piece of your mind, the likely outcome is another school for your child. You get what you choose.
It’s exactly for this reason that I do not intend to send my child to a chinese vernacular school.
This type of teacher is really bad. A good teacher should never ever threaten a young student like Alycia.
Oops! Just checked my comment…not school “friend”, I meant school “board”!
I also wanted to add that not considering whether u continue with this school or not, always let the teachers know what u expect of them, and what u do NOT expect them to do. And always lodge complaints in writing or by email, never just talking. Even if it was just a chat on the fly, follow up with a written note or email..that way there is a record.
– Teachers often mark homework with a tick on the writing book whether is right or wrong without highlighting words written wrongly, if any.
– Promised one thing and did not perform it. When asked either deny or try to cover up with another lie.
– No proper timetable. Usually ask students to lay down doing nothing.
– No communication between teachers and parents. When parents take initiative to ask, the teachers try to avoid or show black face.
Are the above common in kindergarten based on your experience.
so sorry for Alycia…looks like she really got frightened by the teacher so it’s no point continuing. better to learn elsewhere. this is what happen in govt school & whether we like it or not, we hv to accept such attitudes of govt sch teachers. non-paying school mean parents has no say…sadly even if u choose to voice out, i doubt how much would be taken into consideration š
i gave up …. am seriously look’g into switching mine next yr!!
this is really terrible!!! i think you should really complain to the headmaster if need be