Becoming a parent is one of life’s most profound changes. The demands of caring for little ones can completely transform your lifestyle and priorities. It’s easy to lose touch with the person you were before having children. Reconnecting with your pre-kids self is important for your mental health and happiness, and ultimately benefits your whole family. Here are some tips for rediscovering the hobbies, interests and personality traits that give you joy outside of parenting.
Make Time for Old Hobbies
When you have young children at home, finding time for yourself can seem impossible. But carving out even small windows to engage in hobbies you enjoyed before becoming a parent is vital. Don’t wait for the perfect chunk of free time – it won’t come! Instead, identify ways to incorporate past passions into the margins of your day. Even 15-20 minutes of making art, playing guitar or reading can help centre you. Share your interests with your kids as they grow older.
Socialise with Child-Free Friends
It’s common for new parents’ social circles to shrink and consist mostly of other families. Make an effort to maintain friendships with people who don’t have children. Plan occasional adult-only outings to restaurants, shows or events that remind you of your pre-kids lifestyle. Your friends without kids can provide perspective and a sense of normalcy beyond the world of parenting.
Revisit Old Fashion Choices
Becoming a mum or dad often means adopting a more practical, low-maintenance personal style. Make space in your routine to reconnect with the fashion sense or beauty rituals you enjoyed before having kids. Wear the types of clothes and makeup that make you feel most authentically yourself, when practical. Even symbolic gestures like putting on an old favourite accessory can awaken a sense of your identity beyond parenthood.
Indulge Nostalgic Entertainment
Your TV shows, movies, books and music tastes likely look much different than in your child-free days. Set aside time to rewatch, reread or relisten to old favourites from your youth or that you associate with the person you were before becoming a parent. Feed your soul with entertainment that resonates with your core self. Share beloved classics with kids as appropriate.
Pursue New Interests Too
Reconnecting with your past doesn’t mean you must remain stuck in it. Carve out time to experiment with new hobbies, fashion choices and entertainment as well. Look for classes or groups that align with untapped interests. Adding novelty to your life helps prevent the monotony than can come with the daily parental grind. Bring a beginner’s mindset of curiosity and fun.
Work with a Coach
If you feel overwhelmed about rediscovering who you are beyond a parent, consider working with a parenting coach from The People Practice Group. A parent coach provides structure, accountability and guidance in setting and achieving goals related to your personal growth and fulfilment. Parenting coaching help you honour the demanding role of parenthood while reconnecting with needs beyond caring for your kids. Many offer remote sessions by phone or video chat.
The transition to parenthood often means parts of your pre-kids self recede into the background. But you are still a multidimensional person with a unique spirit to nurture. Reawakening and expressing your whole self – not just the parental role – allows you to bring more joy, presence and creativity to your family. Your journey will benefit your children as much as yourself.
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