Sleep Divorce

I can’t remember if hubs ever snored in the past but I could sleep quite soundly next to him. Even if he did snore, it was mild and not nerve wracking. But he started to snore obnoxiously over the past three years – power drill level snoring!

His snores are so bad that I would be slapping his hands and kicking his legs throughout the night to wake him up to stop the snores. But that would only wake him up momentarily and then he goes kruuuuuuuuuukaaaaaahhhwaaaaaakeeeeeehhhhhh again, the entire night, every single hour.

His snores were killing me. I would wake up to a very grumpy, antsy, angry and unwell self. I was angry with him for snoring, though it’s beyond his control. I told him to see a doctor as he may be suffering from sleep apnea but he’s always too busy.

My sleepless nights and his snores caused us a little tension and he decided that it’s best for him to sleep in the living room. Too bad we don’t have an extra room in the house and he has to sleep on a mattress on the floor. The nights that he slept outside were my best nights as I could sleep like a baby.

After several weeks of sleeping outside, hubs would come in to sleep again as he often complains that sleeping outside is not as cozy as sleeping on a bed in an air-conditioned room. But the whole vicious cycle of his obnoxious snores, followed by me hitting and kicking him and yelling out to him to stop snoring repeats. And out he goes to sleep again. And then he comes in again after a couple of weeks. Clockwork cycle.

I have tried all the possible methods to block out or reduce the sounds of the snores but none really worked. I tried to reposition our sleep positions on the bed up to 4 different positions but I could still hear his snores loud and clear in the still of the night.

I bought anti-noise earplugs from Lazada and those didn’t help at all. My mil gave me her brand new silicon ear putty that she bought from Chiangmai just before the pandemic but that didn’t work for me too. Funnily, sounds are even louder when the earplugs are put on!

Plastic ear buds bought from Lazada and silicone ear putty. Both don’t work for me.

My latest sleep experiment is listening to music which I download. These are deep sleep music, white noise sounds, sounds of nature (waterfall, water flowing, crickets, thunder and rain playing in the background of piano music or jazz), baby lullabies and noise eraser beats into Sherilyn’s Spotify app using her spare phone and played them throughout the night. That managed to help me quite a bit but it annoyed hubs 🀣. Well that’s my intention. To wake him up so that I get to sleep!

When hubs came back to the room to sleep last week, I did not get any shut eye for two days in a row as his power drill level snores were killing me throughout the night. I was enraged. And I fell really unwell after the second night, with a swollen lymph node behind my ear. I felt like I was coming down with a flu and sore throat. I just felt terrible. I drank a sachet of Lian Hua yesterday and lots of coconut water and this managed to put me back to life again.

Hubs went back to the living room to sleep last night and I managed to sleep like a baby again last night. Peace and bliss! πŸ˜†

According to Bustle, sleep divorce can actually have a positive impact on a relationship if the couple discusses the specifics of how it can help, how long they intend to maintain this arrangement, and alternate ways of establishing connection and intimacy outside of sharing a bed.

The ideal way to do this is to make sure that both partners have comfortable sleep environments when they decide to sleep separately β€” otherwise poor sleep and resentment can take over, like in our case.

Sleep divorce tends to work out well for couples who really take the time and thought required to make it a positive arrangement β€” especially when the intention is to enhance the love and contentment in your partnership. Getting poor quality sleep is linked to more frustration and irritability, less patience, lower attentiveness, more aggression β€” aka the perfect recipe for conflict.

Does your partner snore? How do you guys counter this issue amicably? Would love to hear from you.

This kind of soothing music lulls me to sleep and drowns hubby’s snores at night. Baby lullabies are excellent for me too 🀭

I also learned something new today. By tapping on Loop (right click), the playlist will repeat continuously.

No. of times viewed = 50

Author: Shireen

I am a WFHM of 3 lovely girls - Alycia, Sherilyn and Cassandra. I am a health, fitness and clean freak. I am a freelance content writer and occasionally help out my other half in his food catering business. I also do product reviews and accept sponsored posts on my blogs. I hope you'll enjoy reading my blog as much as I enjoy sharing my day-to-day adventures and mostly boring ranting :P Welcome to my blog! :)

4 thoughts on “Sleep Divorce”

  1. Your husband needs to be checked for sleep apnea… it can be dangerous if your oxygen level drops too low. Does he feel tired and irritable during the day? I know you are….😜
    I know of several folks who got checked out and were surprised how low their oxygen levels were when asleep.

    1. Hi Chris
      My hubby is the type who would doze off anytime of the day at anywhere if he has the time to. I have a friend whose hubby has to wear a pressurized air mask to sleep because of bad snoring/sleep apnea. An ex colleague went for a surgery as he had sleep apnea. I can’t even get my hubby to have his snoring checked, sigh. One day, if I have a chance, I’d drag him to the doctor to have him tested for sleep apnea 😬

  2. Being able to drop off anytime is definitely a sign of untreated sleep apnea. I cannot emphasize enough he needs to get checked out; will likely need a sleep study and if he needs, a CPAP machine. These days the mouth/ nose piece are much more comfortable than the old days. Good luck to the both of you!

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