For once, I am going to be bitchy, bitching about this bloke at my condo who is an obvious fitness and tan freak. He gets on my nerves as he is always rushing to get into the gym at the stroke of 7am sharp and showing that he wants to be ahead of me. In our condo, I am the earliest to use the gym. On most mornings, I will be waiting outside the gym for the clock to strike 7am, while I read the newspapers. Residents are only allowed to use the gym at 7am. Whenever this young fart sees me, he will speed walk to the gym, to beat me so that he is ahead of me. He will then stand right outside the glass door, with his hand holding on to his access card pointing to the card reader and eyes fixed on the card reader, waiting for the numbers to turn to 7:00AM. He will be in this pose for about 5 freaking long minutes… like a kid wanting to be the number one to get into the class and to ‘tell’ me that he wants to ‘chop’ (book) place LOL! Inside the gym, Mandarin songs will be blasting away from his mobile phone. For those who want some peace in the gym, she/he would have to bear with his blasting music. I told the hubs that this guy is a bit ‘sot sot tei’ (nuts). Even his facial expression looks a bit psychotic.
Besides this quirk, he only wears flip flops into the gym to lift weights. One time, a guard went into the gym to ask him to change into his sneakers but he bluntly ignored the guard. Like what can you Mr Guard do to me if I don’t change?! Report me? Or send me out? Another time, it was only me and him in the gym and this young fart farted out really loudly and gawd did it stink like shit! I was suffocating and getting giddy as the air-cond was turned on and windows were all closed!! He farted not only once but about 4 times. After the fourth fart, I stepped down from the air walker and left the gym.
That is his morning routine. Come 12 noon everyday, he will be swimming laps in the pool. Then, he will sun bask on a deck chair for at least an hour, after which he will swim laps again. He has been doing this for almost a year already. He must have been a tofu fair cissy looking fatso trying hard to shed off his fei jai image. I am NOT trying to spy on him OK. My kitchen overlooks the pool and each time I step into the kitchen, this bloke in his underwear sun-basking on the deck chair will catch my sight. In fact, he catches everyone’s attention whenever he pulls his underwear right up to his groin, so that he gets an even tan on his body, LOL! Who on earth would want to get a tan at 12 noon with the scorching hot sun piercing the skin? It’s more likely you get some kind of skin disease exposing your skin to the noon sun!
Just for fun and trying out my new Samsung Note 3 mobile phone, I stole a picture of this bloke while he was sun-bathing at 12 noon. Lense was zoomed in from the 5th floor of my room. Clarity of picture is really not bad at all eh? LOL!
Now, don’t you shoot me for shooting this picture ok? The bloke’s identity is anonymous and no name is mentioned and face is not shown. This desperate housewife just wants to get out of the rut from doing mundane chores muahahaha!
Happy Birthday everyone, today is Yan Yat!
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Haha, I enjoy reading this post. A lot. Really.
So you have a Mr. Kiasu racing with you at top speed to the gym everyday at 7am, kekeke..
And everyday at 12noon, he will sun-bathe at the pool.. Fully utilize the condo’s facilities wor..
He doesn’t work I guess?
Louiz, I think he is a siu yeh jai, no need to work.Yeah, he is using the condo’s facilities to the max LOL! I am so ph8t LOL!
Oh my goodness! I’m laughing myself too whilst reading your post… sorry I know you don’t mean to be funny and you’re just venting your frustration but the 4 farts to chase you away? That was probably his scheme. Next time walk in with face mask ready!!! and do not hesitate to wear it! Hahahahahaha
I personally think he’s got a NY resolution.. maybe something along the line of lose 10kg ke look like a M ke… be a hunk ke… bleerrgghh!! Give him “the look” or shake your head disappovingly or do something back to irritate him?? Haha…
Irene, yea i think i shd put a face mask in my waist pouch the next time i step into the gym, LOL!
It is clear he does not have a 9 – 5 job, so my guess is that he is someone’s gigolo or toy boy! And this also explains that his obsession with looks. I totally love that pic……he doesn’t want any pale bits the way he is roasting in the sun, and notice he is tanning the bottom soles of his feet! If he farts again, just go up and ask if something has crawled up his ass and died, or what the heck did he have for dinner the nite before! Just to push the point, I’d even bring a can of air freshener and spray it all ard him! For being the “first” at the gym, do make an effort just once to be there ahead of him, and when he shows up, tell him u will let him use his card first. Of course be as condescending as possible cos that will definitely get his goat! Say something like ” hey boy, u go ahead and be the first one in, I know it matters to u. Aunty here too old to bother lah and I have bigger priorities in my life than being first. U know what they say, boy, the early bird catches the worm, so there u go, help yourself to the worms!” Not bad, huh?
Chris, You are SO observant. I never thought of him tanning the soles of his feet as well! He’s a freak LOL!!
muahahaha…while reading your post i couldn’t help laughing. i was gonna ask you to snap a photo of this bloke but after scrolling down, i can see that you have. next time try to take a photo of his face eh? he does sound weird so be careful when you are alone with him in the gym, ok?