Our helper has followed my mil to the market early this morning. Over breakfast just now, I roped the 2 older girls to help out after breakfast. They helped to put back the jam and butter into the fridge, bring the dishes and cups to the sink to wash, wipe the table, sweep the floor and re-arrange the kitchen top. Alycia also helped to make the beds. I asked the girls if they would prefer to have kakak or without a kakak. I told them that if we have no Kakak, all of them would have a fair share of household chores to do. After a few seconds in deep thoughts, all 3 gave me the same answer, which is a resounding “NO KAKAK!” They told me that they liked doing house chores. We all agreed that the house is more peaceful and quieter without kakak’s naggings and scoldings. Yep, she drives me bonkers everyday with a term I call ‘step-mothering’ the kids by scolding them and quarelling with #2 all the time. It’s hard to get maids ever since our neighboring countries banned their supply of maids to our country. With an online store running and 3 young kids, I definitely need a helper. If I am left without a maid, I am quite willing to give up my online store to be a full time SAHM. I think I will be happier this way… or maybe not. It’s hard to predict sometimes. She adds a big percentage to my Stress Bag. I know I will also be stressed without her help. But I know my stress will also be erased if I don’t hear anymore of her naggings, rude answers and don’t have to deal with her temper tantrums (she bangs things and answers back with disdain and sarcasm all the time). Maybe my girls and I will be closer without her for we will all share out the house chores. I know Alycia will be more pleased than ever to help. Sherilyn – it depends on her mood. For a start, she will think it’s fun to do house work but after a few days, I can already anticipate her reaction. Having said all these, I am still unable to make up my mind now. To have or not to have a maid?
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Having a maid is has pros and cons…so it is fully depend on the situation.For me, I choose not to have a maid,at least I don’t have to keep all my belongings in locked drawer all the time and I feel uncomfortable having another Stranger at home all the time.
I guess the maid had been around long enough to self-promote herself to such a position 🙂 Well, I vote for not to have her anymore. You can have your home to yourself again and your kids are old enough and I’m sure it’ll lots easier to get them to help around. Not to mention the extra room and space you’ll be getting without an extra person 🙂 But that’s just my 2-sen thoughts
Have never had a maid but yours sound pretty brazen! When I was back in KL in Oct I read in the papers abt the dilemma of maids and as well some of the abuse they have to endure. Guess lots in the maid business would love to come here…2 years’ and they can apply for resident status!
Anyways, learning from my experience, it is best to have a “signed contract” with all 3 kids (hubby not involved??). For example, itemise who has to do what, at what time, etc. Then discuss consequences of not living up to the contract terms. And of course the rewards of doing the job…could be dollar here n there, a trip to the mall, dinner at their favourite joint etc. Acc. to child psychologists, it is very important to have the child be involved with their own “livelihood” to ensure their self-worth, not to mention survival.
I’ve just got a maid 2 months ago. I didn’t know how it was like having one and now that I’ve got one, I honestly didnt like it. But we cannot deny the fact that the house is cleaner, the dishes will get done and clothes washed without us having to do it ourselves and that does take off some stress but the maid also brings with her other type of stresses. Mine ruined my wrinkled shirt, used clorox on my coloured floor mats, drive me up the wall with her nagging ( she nags my girl), I have to constantly check her work and tell her what to clean (she takes care of the usual areas but neglects or I think it’s more towards being lazy on other areas) etc. Now that I am stuck with her for 2 years, I told myself that I will just enjoy spending time with my kids with her help and 2 years later I will most probably get rid of her cause my kids will be old enough for me handle on my own. So for your question, if you can handle your housework without a maid, then I will say get rid of her!
No maid- voted… 🙂
No 1 2 3 are all big enough to help around…. 🙂 it is better to train them early rather than train a kakak.
I don’t have one so I am not sure how it is to have one. Since your maid adds to your stress, it’s better not to have her. Try it out first without a maid but get part-timers in to help with the cleaning? Or keep one eye close when it comes to cleanliness around the house 🙂 You are a great cook so I am sure you can whip up something fast and nutritious for the family. Perhaps slow down a bit on the online store when things are too over-whelming?
Thanks peeps for your feedback. Yep, I am also very very keen to try out w/o a maid. Who knows life will be more peaceful for us 😉
sy, you current lifestyle is much more hectic n stressful than your previous corporate days.. managing yr maid, 3 kids, online stores, writing blogs..you shld ditch yr maid, slow down your business and enjoy the phase of yr growing girls. be an absolute full-time mom!
Shin, my days in the bank and corporate world were stressful too but it’s different from the stress I have now. Corporate days, I get leave & MC and can sometimes rest in the office. Yep, the stress was heavy too but there was always a motivation — bonus, Merit Awards, Merit Increments, Salary Increments– still remember? haha! Now, there’s absolutely no rest, no bonus, no rewards and the stress is still there!
I understand how you feel. I am also indecisive about my own decision when my maid’s tenure is over.
I dislike having a maid, but then again…. I feel that I have more quality time with my boys because I do not need to do the housework and spend my time teaching and playing with my boys. I feel that quality time would be important at this present moment.
Shireen, was about to post about this issue too, but i decided to wait until i finish my CNY posting. Really beh tahan with my maid’s attitude recently too. Found her Tasting food while cooking on my kids utensils and plate directly and lots of such crazy issues with her not wanting to wake up and work recently. I just feel like sending her back immediately but at the same time, I need her so desperately (she accompany qiqi while i send the boys out to school at 7am) and then her accompany qiqi at home waiting for the transporter while i rushed out to fetch the boys. Having her (despite her sleeping while I am not around) is still definitely safer than leaving qiqi home alone right? Sigh….such in a dilemma right now. As if keeping a bomb at home :”(
Chin Nee… that’s what my hubby & mil said. Our maid is a time bomb, waiting to explode! Sigh.. we’re both in deep dilemma!
I never have one, and I don’t think I can live peacefully with maid. I can’t accept any stranger in my house, my hubby too. So, my answer is obvious.
I know what you mean, without the nagging and scoldings, your soul feel more at peace. But a lot more work, some can wait till the part time maid comes, but the smaller things like Chin Nee’s is what we are all grateful for (someone at home with the kids). Oh well, if yours is more useless than useful, then give her up. See if after a few months you are ok or not, else I have a number that can provide maids in 2 weeks, via social pass then convert to working permit here. The best part is you can interview her first. Also good for your kids to experience helping out, because it could affect their studies and loving housechores could also be “hangat hangat tahi ayam” thingie.
Take care…
Hey, I just saw your friend Shin’s comment, and I totally agree with her… enjoy your kids at this phrase as they grow up too fast. You don’t look like you need the cash from your online biz (that’s a compliment) so that should be a past time or a project to keep sane. Don’t get bogged down with chores also, unless they give you relief in some way. Haha… but I guess you and your hubs know your answer best. We employers are NOT at the mercy of these foreigners, esp NOT in our own homes!
Sheoh Yan, indeed not convenient to have a foreigner living with you. If i have a choice, I will prefer not to have.
Irene, I always believe in ‘making hay while sun shines’ for ‘rainy days’. So while I still can, make some hay to store 🙂 Paying for 3 kids’ uni fees can run up to over a million ringgit, no joke!
How about trying a Cambo maid? Mine has been with me for the past 7 months (my very first maid) and I’m pretty happy with her so far. Ok lar….she makes mistakes here and there but I don’t set my expectations that high. My thinking is that if she’s so smart, then she won’t be a maid in the first place lor. At least now I don’t have to worry about stuff like laundry, mopping, washing plates, cleaning dog’s poo poo etc.
As the kids are bigger now, try train they up with house chores. One day you will try have to leave the maid right. Train now and think of that issue later. When it’s time to let go your girls already can be a very good helper to you.
U may need a maid if both of u r working parents with little kids at home with or without staying with yr parent-in-law. Maid will assist u to take care of yr hse chores ( provided u can keep yr eyes close ). U required to hv human mgmt skill too.
U don’t require a maid any more when yr kids r growing up as u need to make them know that u r training them to take care of their own “home”. And most important one….u need to realise that u r the “real maid” n need extra patience when yr family members on “strike”. Remember “HARMONY n PEACEFUL” is vital to yr home.
U must be too good until the maid cn bully ur kids lol,my mum used to hc maids,come and went almost 5-6 of them,I ve seen it all,frm good one,bad temper,curi our stuff,went dating,cm back pregnant also got,not all are bad,depend on ur luck also,my he’s doesn’t need one coz 3 of us,hse not that big,and don’t like the idea hvstranger in the hse, I cn mop the floor half naked and nobody knw,haha..
You know, I’ve had it both ways with and without a maid in very stressful circumstances (although you have 3 girls and I only have 2), and honestly, although there was so much more work to be done without a maid, we were all much, much happier without a maid.