Never-ending List of Worries

Yesterday was the first day that Alycia had to stay back after school for compulsory extra curricular activities. Ever since the incident last year where the van driver left her out in school and told me that she did not know where she was upon reaching our condo (GOSH, I almost fainted!!), I have this paranoia all the time that the same thing will happen again. Whenever the van arrives late at our condo after school, my mind begins to stray and all sorts of negative thoughts would play tricks on me in my mind. I have been praying to God everyday to bring Alycia and Sherilyn safely to school and to bring them home safely to me everyday.

I have enrolled Alycia and Sherilyn for UCMAS (Mental Arithmetic) class conducted after school and the first class will begin today. Alycia has been very unreceptive over my steadfast decision in sending her to UCMAS class. She gives me all sorts of lame excuses to avoid attending the class, like she does not know which class the lesson will be held at, she does not want to climb the stairs to the 3rd floor to attend lesson, she does not like Math and a whole load of other unreasonable excuses. Whenever I raise the subject of UCMAS, she will whine and be teary eyed and beg me not to enroll her for it. Yep, this girl is super sensitive and tears easily. I know she feels very insecure and probably frightened of her own unfounded fears. Blame it on the Calligraphy teacher who instilled fear in her 2 years ago (the teacher threatened the Year 1 pupils that if they did not write nicely, they did not have to attend class anymore and said some harsh words to the pupils to scare the sh*t out of them). She had just turned 6YO then and being a December child, had to enter into Std 1. What an outright wrong way for the teacher to teach, which back-fired. I had blogged about this 2 years ago.

Though Alycia is already in Std. 3, I still worry a lot about her whenever she is in school. My worry includes Sherilyn who is a very curious, daring and fearless 7YO. I worry that she will get herself into some major trouble because of her boldness, rashness and naive ness. Baby is another child whom I worry a lot. She is now safe at home and I am not ready just yet to ‘release her’ because of what she had gone through as a baby. She still has a slight post-op issue with her urinary tract (which is the reason why I am delaying pre school for her), which I hope time will heal it (says the surgeon). I know my worries are only the small tip of the ice berg and there are way more for me to deal with when they are in their teens. It does not help that I am a chronic worrier who worries unnecessarily over every little thing.

As I am typing this post, my eyes keep glancing at the clock on my desk. I am counting down every minute to my girls’ return from school. This will be my routine for many, many years to come until they leave their nest.

Feeling soppy now and shall step down from the soap box..


No. of times viewed = 384

HEALTH FREAK MOMMY