I haven’t been so embarrassed for a long, long time. Yesterday morning after my half hour run, I stopped by the soy bean milk man’s van to get a packet of soy bean milk for the girls. I buy soy bean milk and bean curd from this man very regularly. That morning, a lady who looks like an Indonesian greeted me in Cantonese “joa sun, oi mee yeh leng lui?” (good morning, what do u want pretty girl?). I was not surprised that the Indon lady could speak good Cantonese. Many foreign workers in our country speak fairly good Mandarin and Cantonese.
It was the first time I saw this lady and I have known this soy bean milk man for almost 10 years. So I asked the man this “lei ke sun koong yan ar?” (is that your new helper?)…. to which he replied “ngor loa por geh” (my wife’s)…. to which I said “oh, lei gei loa por koong yan lei geh?” (oh, that’s your wife’s helper). The soy bean milk man then corrected me “um mai, koa kor hai ngor loa por lei geh” (no, that’s my wife). When I heard that, I was flushed and malu. Oh gosh, what did I just say? I just said that his wife looks like an Indon maid, oh no… how could I have said such a thing?! I should have zipped my gap and not ask him anything. I was really expecting the man to be offended as he isn’t the friendly and cordial type of person but thank God, he wasn’t angry a wee bit. He was explaining to me why his wife was there and blah blah blah. When I learned that the Indon lady is his wife, I gave her a 2nd, 3rd and 4th look, just to be doubly sure that she’s an Indon. I am quite certain that she is an Indon as she was talking to another Indon lady there in Indon language. And each time I looked at his wife, this lady gave me the most polite smile and thank you nod (to thank me for patronizing them).
Moral of the story is, if you are not sure of something and if you do not know the person very well, don’t ask the person any question that is quite personal. Just keep the curiosity to yourself to save yourself from embarrassment and possible chiding off!
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haha…really a scene ya…i would dig a hole to hide my face like the ostrich….heehee 🙂
oh dear…i would hv apologize repeatedly…
The more I read your story, the more I feel that we have some kind of similarity. May be we are the same age and born in the same horoscope – pieces, right? Correct me if I am wrong. I was as direct as you as well. I asked an old lady who stayed opposite my house for 8 years. “Did you go to cheng beng your husband?”. Then, she said, “Why cheng beng him? he is still alived.” When I apologized, she said nevermind, because her husband and her have divorced long ago, and didn’t contact each other anymore. I also very paiseh for making the assumption myself that her husband has passed away.
Yes, must not make assumptions or end up with foot-in-the-mouth syndrome! Trust me, happens to me on a regular basis. Assumed the guy was with his dtr, she was his wife. Didn’t know if someone male or female..didn’t want to ask, and didn’t know what to do. Here’s a suggestion to “save” face..if the couple were only recently married, then get them a small wedding gift to congratulate them. It will be a very nice gesture.
i bet the next round you pass by the stall or wanna buy soya milk, you will think twice first? *haha*
haha….can imagine the embarassment 😀
my mom once asked the same question to my sister’s MIL too “if that lady who’s the FIL’s friend’s wife, their new cambodian maid” & we noticed she was offended lor 🙁
it’s embarassing to both side indeed !!
haha luckily that man never give you a black face. I guess someone asked him that b4, so he just replied as usual keke.
Lucky the soyamilk man not gets angry………..
😀 I know many food sellers marry their indon helpers. 😀
Oppsss….normally when I see such scenario or just curious, I would just remark to my hubby or sis or aunt, just whoever with me at that moment. I paiseh to ask people, unless I know the person(s) really well….;)
hahahha .. dun worry la slip of the tongue not on purpose isnt it??
aiyoh!! malu leh! hahaha!