No mother would possibly know what my feelings are right now unless they have a child who is about to go for a major surgery. I am worried, anxious, sometimes I feel pessimistic and at other times I feel optimistic. Once in a while I feel like crying too when I think of what my baby has to go through. This is really a mental anguish to me. I really don’t know if this surgery will fix her problem once and for all or will she need another surgery to correct the problem. Will she suffer from any complications during the surgery? What if she doesn’t wake up from the surgery? Will she suffer from any mental and physical disabilities resulting from the surgery? These are just some of the misgivings that I have on the surgery. I can’t possibly handle all these by myself. I’ll leave everything in God’s hands.
I have started to prepare a check-list on the things that I need to bring to the hospital. My list is really long and I think I will need an extra large trolley luggage and another hand held luggage. Some of the things that I will need to bring to the hospital are my breast pump, some travel towels, a pack of diapers, milk bottles, my neck-support pillow and bolster (I need these, otherwise I am bound to have sleepless nights and a bad stiff neck and shoulders!), my supplements, Baby C’s bowl, cup, spoons and the list goes on. I can’t wait for the day to arrive yet I dread for the day to arrive. How ironic! I hope our stay at the hospital will be over real quickly without us realizing it and that everything will turn out smoothly without any complications and hitches. And I need lots of prayers for a smooth surgery and a minimal pain post-surgery for my baby.
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