I was just telling my mum that I really can’t cope with 3 kids. I am putting up a white flag! Baby C is taking up too much of my time. In fact, most of my time is spent caring for her – feeding her meds, supplements, preparing her meals and feeding her, nursing her, collecting her pee to be sent to the lab for test, washing her bum as the diaper area has to be kept almost sterile all the time, endless hospital trips to see our doctors, etc. I feel extremely bad and guilty that I am unable to spend more time with Alycia and Sherilyn. Consequently, they are bored to the core, especially during the school holidays and Sherilyn has been up to mischief and rebel most of the time. I am constantly yelling at her over the slightest things and it’s really bad for her and for me. I even dragged her out of the house for a few seconds the other day when she kept testing my patience and kept rebelling against me. Even after being dragged out of the house, she was still not remorseful and kept saying nasty things to me. I feel really guilty and bad thinking of what I had been saying and doing to her.
I get crabby easily lately. I feel there’s just too much for me to shoulder – a high-need, high-maintenance baby with Kidney Reflux who doesn’t seem to get better and 2 toddlers who are constantly challenging me mentally and physically. Right now, I am very tempted to send Sherilyn to day care. Perhaps this little social butterfly will be happier at day care with so many friends to play with and activities lined up for her. Moreover, the teachers can discipline her. I can stop yelling at her and absence will also make the heart grow fonder. My mum is supportive of my decision as she knows I need the space to stay sane. What do you all think?
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