My maid seems to have a dubious character. While her work is considered good, somehow, certain things that she does over the last few weeks make her character appear dubious and I am quite troubled with that.
This morning as I was having breakfast with Sherilyn, I saw her shelling a hard-boiled egg in the wet kitchen when I walked into the dry kitchen. When she saw me, she got startled and threw the egg into the bin and pretended to continue with her work. I did not query her as to why she did that coz I know she had wanted to eat the egg but why on earth did she ‘tau tau mor mor and kwai kwai she she’ (do it so stealthily)? She could have just asked me and I will surely allow her to eat an egg as it’s not expensive. In fact I don’t mind her eating an egg a day since it only costs 40 sen each.  When she went out to hang the laundry, I went to the wet kitchen to do some spot checks. When I opened the wooden cabinet, I found her mug, filled with hot barley water. I’ve told her to boil barley water everyday but today, there was lesser than usual. When she came inside, I asked her why there was a mug of barley water inside the cabinet and she just looked stunned and tongue-tied. I asked her if she wanted to drink the barley water and she just smiled a little but did not answer me, probably she was really scared that I found out. I then told her that should she want to eat or drink anything in future, she should just ask my permission and not ‘sembunyi’ (hide). I told her that I won’t like it if she ‘sembunyi’ food and things from me.
Well, I just hope she has learnt her lesson. I am still very troubled over this incident. Why did she boil the egg and wanted to stealthily eat it? I have yet to query her on this and I will probably ask her one day. I just hope she does not have a mind of a thief and a dishonest character. After this incident, I think I should be on my guard more and conduct more spot checks on her.
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very difficult la have maid…. i think the most imp is ur children like her n she treats them well… i oso pening wif my maid coz she doesnt reli like to look after my children..
I’ll be worried too if I were u…how long has she been with u? Better be careful on your belongs!
I feel you should take a really WIDE perspective on this. Consider first your current circumstances. You are about to have a baby. You also have two very (hyper)active girls below 5 years. All three kids will need lots of attention from you in coming days. Your last temp Cambodian is a nightmare you don’t need if this maid doesn’t work out.
You NEED for this current maid to really work. You need her to perform at her optimum. You need to create for yourself a situation where you can “fong sum”
Which is to say, it is to your benefit to find out how to MAKE it work, rather than dwell on the reasons why it might not work.
Take a long view. A hungry maid will not be helpful or useful. If she’s insecure in telling you she needs more food, she will resort to ‘stealing’.
Create a relationship such that she can and would prefer to choose to be open rather than sneaky. Yes, she’s a member of your household, you need to develop a relationship of trust and mutual concern. I wouldn’t want to live with someone I can’t trust, and I will take positive steps to build that trust.
Probably she’s new and unsure of how you may react if she asks for more food. Who knows, she might have some strong sense of dignity too, that prevents her from asking, or expecting rejection.
Take the first step and ‘hint’ that she may have an egg a day apart from the normal 3 meals or whatever it is that you have rationed her. See how you go from there.
Same case. Our maid was standing by the kitchen window eating grapes. When she saw Jeff’s mom coming into the kitchen, she quickly threw the grapes out of the window in the garden. Also “curi minum” our soup and add water again (she has to do that coz she drinks a lot).
She has always been “stealing” our food till we cannot stand her. We don’t mind her eating but we scold her when she eats excessively and finishes the food without even leaving for us.
Now we have resorted to telling her that there is a camera hidden in the kitchen and we can watch her movements. She has since become more cautious and would now ask us if she wants to eat something. But with Jeff&I now in Singapore, she has started bullying the two old folks again……….oh my! She even had the cheek to tell them that she is only afraid of Jeff&I coz she knows we are the ones who employ her and pay her salary every month!!!!!!!!!!
Alicia… I hope I can do away with a live-in maid very soon. Not so much probs if we hire hourly maids.
Rachel… this maid has been with us for almost 1 month.
Hannah…. thanks for the advise.
Shir Lin….. it’s really not easy to have a good maid eh? Those who have good maids are like striking lottery!
I can’t offer much from the perspective of experience because I do not have a maid, but from the perspective of employer and employee, I would strongly suggest you sit down and have a heart to heart talk with her. Let her know what your expectations of her are. She could be just petrified because he former employer was too strict on her. Once everyone understands each other, it will be easier to live.
maybe she is afraid of asking u. u need to have a talk with that she is to ask everything. or u can tell her that she can eat ‘this’ and ‘that’ in advance so she wont tau tau mor mor. tell her if u can give her ‘so and so’ to eat, u will tell her. she no need to steal
sometimes they are not so open and dare to tell us, maybe sked we scold.
oh my, i missed greeting you on your birthday, belated happy birthday Shireen.
Time really flies so fast, you are about to give birth to another child. seems like only yesterday you became pregnant.
the girls draw very well, i am amazed at how sher can draw even if she’s a copycot of Aly.
i just squeezed in all my comments here ^_^
oh maybe the helper is afraid of you…they are like that sometimes. l have no problems with my helpers though, i still need to remind them to eat whatever is on the ref, or any food for that matter.
i emailed u to ur gmail account, did u get it?
I don’t have a maid, but i heard too many bad news abt maid, just a word of caution, NEVER TRUST maid. Would like to share this with you… One of my relative’s maid add pepper in baby’s milk until baby refuse to drink milk and cried everytime she drink her milk, after sometime only my this relative found out!! how on earth they have the heart to hurt the small little unequip baby!!
Hope your maid has learnt her lesson. Hearing and reading so many news about maids that I don’t think I will ever get one…
I think maybe, previous employer doesn’t allow her to eat….so, she used to curi curi makan liao…give her sometimes, to adjust to your style lor….
Maids will always be maids…..they will never change ….no matter how good u treat them….they r not to be trusted….i caught my maid today ….with her cup of ribena…which she hides in a corner of the kitchen…..already told her a hundred times to get permission fr. me if she wants anything….but she is never listens and keep lying to me…..the only thing u can do is keep an eye on her if possible.