Daddy left the house at 5am for Ipoh to perform Cheng Meng (All Souls Day) offerings to his late father and grandparents yesterday. We stayed at home. I slept in with the kids until almost 8am. After the gals finished their milk, we all walked to a nearby Indian restaurant to pack some food back for lunch. Whilst waiting for our roti canai, tosei and chicken curry, I ordered my favorite teh-C tarik (pulled tea with evaporated milk, minus the condensed milk and sugar). I also bought some nyonya kuih for breakfast. I know kuihs are not a healthy choice but the gals and I love them and I allow us to eat them once or twice a week.
After breakfast, I finally packed my hospital bag. There weren’t many things to pack and I was done in under half an hour or maybe I’m already a pro in this, after having gone through 2 c-sections. As I was packing, especially the baby’s clothes, I kept having a flood of emotions. I just can’t believe that in 1.5 week’s time, I will be a mother of 3 kids. I just don’t know how I am going to cope. As it is now, my 2 kids are already driving me bonkus all the time. But I believe God will not put me in a situation that I can’t handle. I believe God will help me out and will not let me drown. I also wondered how my baby will look – will she be pretty, will she be perfect, will she be fair or dark, will she have dimples just like Alycia and Sherilyn, will she have big eyes like Alycia, will her kidneys be alright? Will my confinement lady drive me up the wall just like my previous CL? I also felt chills running down my body when I think of myself in the OT again, waiting for the anesthetist to come and administer the spinal cord anesthetic on me. That is something that I fear the most as it is really painful and frightening….. frightened that should the anesthetist administer the wrong dosage or at the wrong place, I’ll be finished. I also kept thinking of the immense pain I’ll be experiencing again when I get out of bed to walk after the c-section. I just felt soooo terribly worried and scared yet excited, all at the same time.
No. of times viewed = 377