FollowI caught saw my maid walking out of the house to meet her friend boyfriend (she maintains he’s only her regular friend) for about 3 minutes yesterday afternoon. When I asked her, she admitted that her friend passed her a letter and asked her to go out in 2 weeks’ time as he has a day off. I advised my maid to be wary befriending men, especially a foreigner whom she barely knows. I told her that there is no ending in their relationship as he will not follow her to Indon when she returns and she can’t stay in Malaysia either. I also told her stories of young Indon maids who had been impregnated by men who later did not own up and washed their hands clean. It would be so embarrasing to be sent home in that manner. I told my maid that as long as she works for me, I will not allow her to go out, especially with men. This is also strictly against her contract with the agent.
Many of my readers had commented that I am being too liberal with my maid. From my experience with 4 previous maids, I find that being too strict with them and giving them no freedom at all only made matters worse. The result : my 1st maid charmed us tried to charm us with her urine (which I drank), my second and third maid stole our handphones and brought their boyfriends back to sleep and sneaked out at wee hours in the morning.
Like all human beings, the more we are prohibited from doing something, the more we would want to do it. So by giving them a LITTLE leeway, I find that the maid (as with all human) would be happier. I always put myself in their shoes. I would never be happy working for a boss who is always breathing down my neck, who does not give me any freedom and who does not allow me to talk to other people. It’s like being treated like a slave. I totally agree that these maids cannot be treated too nice or they will climb over our heads and even tell us off and try to be the boss of the family. But being too strict is not doing any good either and in my previous case, it back-fired.
I wonder how employers with maids who have worked for them faithfully for many years deal with their maids. I would love to hear from these employers. Do you allow your maids to go out and how do you handle them so that you, your family and your maid can live harmoniously together?
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